26/06/07 : Paris is sprung

Paris Hilton has been released from jail following three weeks’ as Large Marge’s luxury dyke food.

The hotel heirhead is out of Lynwood ladies slammer and straight onto your TV screens, radios and webshites selling her story and her soul.

 “She fulfilled her debt. She was obviously in good spirits. She thanked people as she left,” grinned Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore – before heaving a huge sigh of relief.

Paris will now tell her woeful tale of martyrdom in a one-hour TV special tomorrow on CNN’s Larry King Live - which gives her just enough time to have new hair extensions, an all over body tan and a back, sack and crack wax. Remember kids: jail gives you balls.

Our vapid ex-con will then spend the longest-hour of our lives detailing what it’s like to break the law and be punished.

A spokeswoman for the show said: "We do have Paris on Wednesday. She'll do the whole hour."

And if that’s not enough for you, sit tight for the multiple magazine spreads, an autobiography, and the inevitable 2 Nights In Paris sex tape.

After all, if Paris didn't love to make the same mistakes twice, she’d have never gone to jail in the first place.

Posted By Editor On 26/06/07

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